Rwanda nziza

I've long ago decided that I prefer Rwanda to its neighbouring countries. There's something about the people here that differs from those in Tanzania, Kenya and Uganda (the three countries I've visited so far). I realize how ironical that sounds given the mix of actual nationalities represented here- probably some Rwandans I meet are actually from elsewhere. The speaker at the church I went to today in Kigali was Ugandan, for example. (His voice was exactly like Forest Whitaker's). Rwandans can be very guarded but within minutes of a greeting, there's a smile, a wave, an extended hand. Since the first week back in April, I've known that if I ever got lost or stuck in the mud with my moto (both of which have happened), then someone nearby will come to help me out. I've long since realized that establishing any real long-term friendships here is too difficult. There are the complications of being asked for school fees or sponsors or synthesizers or laptops. There are some cultural barriers like when you stop by unannounced at my house and then won't leave..And there's the reality that unlike you, I get to leave this country and return to my cushy life.
I have quite the game plan prepared for the next few weeks. Trainings. Painting a mural on my model school's wall. Finding a permanent location for Art Club. Trying yet again to explain to my District Office what it is I do. (Yeah, after 9 months it's still a shaky relationship. Wish I could expound on that but I want to keep other relationships intact). I think there's a quote about "checking the nature of your battle" and what I've concluded is that the next few weeks are going to help determine what, if anything, I'm leaving behind. Maybe they shouldn't be spent trying to meet the so-called objectives of some very overwhelmed and underqualified (and nameless) people and I should invest my time in those around me instead. The scales are tipped in favor of the latter. Maybe Marie's store will do well and the business loan we've set up will be the reason why. Maybe Emmanuel will use his new bank account to start saving for school- it'll take him 15 years to do so but perhaps it's a start. I have so many questions about what's next and my best friend from home reminded me today that I'm "always jumping forward". I need to stop that.
What's good about the now is that my new neighbourhood kids range in age from 2 to 9- a little younger of a crowd than the last house and so far only one of them has figured out my sense of humor. I tease him mercilessly but the others will catch on soon. There are new VSO just arrived and their enthusiasm and freshness is contagious. My new roomate Ken arrives Wednesday and I'm excited for the change in dynamic. Plus he's a soccer fan too so maybe he can strengthen my side during the impromptu street matches in front of my house. I'm getting demolished by these under 9 year olds!! Christi returns Thursday and I am training one more sector Thurs/Friday and I cannot wait for the chance to work properly again.
Yesterday Procar gave us a lift home- a nice random act of kindness. He had transported a plastic chair from Kigali to Gitarama for us that we bought for our guard- who had been sitting on a pile of bricks each night. One good turn deserves another I guess. Today a woman hugged me in church, she didn't have to, she just turned suddenly and did it. Did she know I needed one?
This blog I'm sure comes off as a bit rambly but I'm super tired. I feel so confused about leaving, about what's next and about what it all means. Maybe there's processing to be done afterwards just as there was quite a bit when I arrived. An afterthought I had is that someone commented to me the other day about all the literature on Rwanda being topical. There's the Bradt guide but otherwise it's mostly about the war. Hasn't anyone felt inclined to write about the beauty of Kibuye, the cute little 3 year olds who tie empty jerry cans to their backs to mimic having a baby attached, the funny looking goats who bleet like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, the sweetness of watching one person help another on/off the bus with their belongings especially when said person is a mother toting three children solo, the elderly woman who stopped Karen and I mid-pace today with zealous excitement to just say "good evening" and finally, is there not a book out there that speaks to the shared joy, the companionship, the collectivist ideology that is so often attributed to Africa but also exists here, in this overlooked and underappreciated country? If not, there should be.
This VSO experience has effected me like no other and I am glad for it.