This photo is one of my favorites. It was taken by the lakeside near Ruhengeri during a quiet weekend in early November. Amongst a group of savvy, playful kids he stood out. Most significantly his size is dwarfed by the volcano and there is a slight ripple in the water to his right. I look at this photo and it makes me think. This boy, with his tattered clothes, dirty feet and forlorn state- does he matter? You could photo-shop him out of the picture, like he never existed. There are so many children like him in Africa- too many almost. Sometimes when I see street kids or children who clearly aren't cared for here, I wonder how they view themselves. I've met several orphans who have now grown up and I wonder, when you are alone in the world, who cares for you but yourself? What or who does an individual become when their basic needs aren't met?
In a broader context, this pictures makes me think about my impact on others while I'm here. As a typical ambitious VSO, I arrived last April filled to the gills with idealism. It was like a leaky faucet as months went by and disappointments became regular occurences. Goals were modified. Grander schemes were replaced with simpler tasks. I realized early on that I would be impacting people individually. I would focus on kindness, patience, compassion and understanding. I would not succeed in re-organising the education system and I would not be able to provide all that the teachers in my district require to become better teachers. Some, not all.
It is tangible that I helped Kate write her memoir. It is concrete that the Art Club has been meeting EVERY Wednesday afternoon for the past 7 months. And the smile and enthusiasm with which JeanPierre greets me each and every time is something I feel that if I bottled its contenants would glow a warm pink or orange- visibly.
I think about development goals and the state of the world and it always boils down to this one picture, this pathetic and endearing image of a boy in front of a volcano. He matters and therefore whatever I have been able to accomplish here on a singular/individual level, no matter how small and insignificant it feels, will have been worth the journey.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Go-rillaz!!
On November 10th, I climbed into Virunga National Park near a volcano that borders 3 different countries (Uganda, DRC and Rwanda) to spend one hour with the fascinating mountain gorillas. The hike was beautiful, in lush green forest with enough of a trail so that unlike Nyungwe we didn't have to hack a path. It was steady going with breaks every now and again to appreciate the stunning view. I was sceptical about actually seeing any animals because Nyungwe had been such a disappointment when after 2 hours of hiking we were told to stop, unload our equipment and come to look at the massive beasts.
Seriously. We were about 15ft away from group 13 which included a silverback, several females, adolescents and half a dozen babies. The head of the silverback is what caught my eye first and I kept slapping my friend Charlotte on the arm- Do you see that?! Do you see that?! His head was the size of my microwave, don't know how else to put it- he's just MASSIVE! He was sitting chilling out with his pseudo-family around him. A female missing one hand from an encounter with a trap played nearby with a 2 year old. They wrestled and the little one pounced on her belly. Not sure who was getting the most enjoyment out of the experience the elder or the younger. A set of babies were playing with each other and my earlier jesting about "taking one home" became a somewhat serious consideration as these fuzzy stuffed animals made their cute grunts and did pouncing, somersaults and mini chest-beats. We snapped photos and marveled at the enormity and power encapsulated in the 400 pound sleeping silverback. Part of me wanted to see him do something and part of me was acutely aware that if he woke up and got aggravated in any way, we'd be toast. The guide kept making low guttaral grunts the entire time we were there and encouraged us not to point. When you are an uber-tourist and among five other girls, all you can do is point. Look at that! Did you see what that one just did! It was kinda funny. I couldn't NOT point I was so excited by it.
Then, the most awesome rare thing of all.. they mated. Two adult females had been vying for the sleeping giant's affection. One kept yawning and showing her teeth and the other was kinda sauntering around- you know gorilla flirting. So, big guy wakes up, walks over to the teethy one and proceeds to, you know, do it. The five of us were in fits of laughter and wonder and shock- only Kerry managed to get her camera in order and video the activity. There were strange noises, other gorillas watching too and within minutes a small shudder and it was done. He promptly walked back to his spot, lay down and fell asleep. Best drama of all was the "other woman" who hadn't been chosen threw a bit of a hissy fit, all the while dragging a 2 year old baby on her back. Fascinating! Apparently it is rare to see such an event and we were joking that although we hadn't actually hoped to witness exactly THAT, we should maybe sell our footage to National Geographic. Haha!
The hike down was hilarious. Just as soon as we turned to leave it began to pour rain. We slid, skiied, giggled and slipped our way down the hill. Whereas on the way up we often got caught or stung by the nettles and had to pick our way carefully, the way down was just like a muddy slip n' slide. We couldn't stop laughing though, we had just experienced one of those rare, once in a lifetime moments; an hour with one of the most amazing creatures in the world.
Seriously. We were about 15ft away from group 13 which included a silverback, several females, adolescents and half a dozen babies. The head of the silverback is what caught my eye first and I kept slapping my friend Charlotte on the arm- Do you see that?! Do you see that?! His head was the size of my microwave, don't know how else to put it- he's just MASSIVE! He was sitting chilling out with his pseudo-family around him. A female missing one hand from an encounter with a trap played nearby with a 2 year old. They wrestled and the little one pounced on her belly. Not sure who was getting the most enjoyment out of the experience the elder or the younger. A set of babies were playing with each other and my earlier jesting about "taking one home" became a somewhat serious consideration as these fuzzy stuffed animals made their cute grunts and did pouncing, somersaults and mini chest-beats. We snapped photos and marveled at the enormity and power encapsulated in the 400 pound sleeping silverback. Part of me wanted to see him do something and part of me was acutely aware that if he woke up and got aggravated in any way, we'd be toast. The guide kept making low guttaral grunts the entire time we were there and encouraged us not to point. When you are an uber-tourist and among five other girls, all you can do is point. Look at that! Did you see what that one just did! It was kinda funny. I couldn't NOT point I was so excited by it.
Then, the most awesome rare thing of all.. they mated. Two adult females had been vying for the sleeping giant's affection. One kept yawning and showing her teeth and the other was kinda sauntering around- you know gorilla flirting. So, big guy wakes up, walks over to the teethy one and proceeds to, you know, do it. The five of us were in fits of laughter and wonder and shock- only Kerry managed to get her camera in order and video the activity. There were strange noises, other gorillas watching too and within minutes a small shudder and it was done. He promptly walked back to his spot, lay down and fell asleep. Best drama of all was the "other woman" who hadn't been chosen threw a bit of a hissy fit, all the while dragging a 2 year old baby on her back. Fascinating! Apparently it is rare to see such an event and we were joking that although we hadn't actually hoped to witness exactly THAT, we should maybe sell our footage to National Geographic. Haha!
The hike down was hilarious. Just as soon as we turned to leave it began to pour rain. We slid, skiied, giggled and slipped our way down the hill. Whereas on the way up we often got caught or stung by the nettles and had to pick our way carefully, the way down was just like a muddy slip n' slide. We couldn't stop laughing though, we had just experienced one of those rare, once in a lifetime moments; an hour with one of the most amazing creatures in the world.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Teacher Trainings
In November, I ran three Primary Methodology Workshops- one for each of my sectors- for nearly 100 teachers. It was a phenomenal experience. I modeled the itinerary on the UNICEF Child-Friendly Schools workshop which I had co-facilitated in July. The main theme of the workshop was Multiple Intelligences and training the primary teachers in active math, language and science methodology. Ana, I used many activities that we did at PAFI such as the roulette paper-clip wheel for probability and Alison I used your playing cards game for adding/subtracting and multiplying with kidney beans as counters. Dad, I took the peg board game that you and Patty sent me and made a life-sized model out of a shoebox and straws punched in the holes. This strategic/ logical activity was a huge hit!! I had made several didactic materials out of margarine containers, boxes, string and beads found at the Gitarama market, including a counter device for math which functioned as a place value, fractions, counting and patterning visual aid. I made an "Adding Machine" out of some toilet paper rolls, bottle caps and a Digestives box for P1. With Emmanuel's help, there were 22 posters based on pages of the Rwandan Curriculum Math, Science and Technology textbooks on the wall and copied meticulously on to rice sacks by the teachers at the end of each training. We did texture art tracings and discussed mass/capacity using three different sized water bottles. BINGO, word association, Math Tic-Tac-Toe, Fortunately/Unfortunately, Detective and other low-organisational activities were enjoyed. Tongue twister challenges were given to "earn your invitation to lunch". Some of my favorite activities were ones that I thought up on the spot.
For an introductory activity, the entire group of 40 teachers joined a circle. I had a ball of yarn in my hand. I introduced myself and then, while holding a piece, threw the yarn to the teacher opposite me, he did the same and so forth until we had made a giant web. I explained that "this learning web we had created demonstrated that what I know, I will share with him (pointing to the teacher across from me) and what he knows he will share with her (pointing to the next person attached to the yarn-web) and so forth. We were going to spend the next two days COLLABORATING". And that is exactly what we did. To follow up at the end of Day One, I threw the ball around the circle asking for input on what activities the teachers wanted to see included in Day Two and at the end of Day Two we revisited the circle once more to feedback on the sustainability of the activities learnt.
Daniel, the teacher from EP-Rubona had asked to co-facilitate with me and since I had determined that I didn't wish to engage another VSO methodologist to help me with the two weeks of training, it was a perfect fit that Daniel would fill this role. He was instrumental in keeping the pace, encouraging different techniques to assist with the language barrier (I so often fell back on my French and he encouraged me to just try again with simpler, slower English vocabulary instead) and his presentation about starting an English Club was moving.
Daniel spoke to his peers about the fact that you can start an English club, as he has done at his school, no matter how small at first. He used a metaphor to perfection. "Still just one match can burn down a forest. Start a club now, with only a few and watch it grow. Everyone can do this. Why not you in your school?" I was amazed and still continue to be impressed by his enthusiasm for education. Rwanda needs more passionate teachers like Daniel.
There were so many highlights to the exhaustive two weeks that I'll short-list a few.
Agnes a 66 year old widow on her hands and knees tracing a poster for her classroom.
Deciding last minute to add music to the schedule and watching the teachers come alive as they sang/performed/made instruments out of seemingly nothing and impressed the socks off of me!!
Seeing teachers on break with the Tongue Twisters jar, going through them one by one to practice their English Vocabulary
Deciding that the solution to the chatty/energetic/less than perfectly co-operative group during the second training was to do a tower building challenge with 30 waterbottles each and then watching as EVERY SINGLE TEACHER in the room became actively engaged in the efforts to build the tallest tower. These thirty minutes of problem-solving, co-operative teamwork and enthusiasm made up for the late arrival, inattentive, apathetic bunch I started out with in the morning. (Sector will remain anonymous)
Being taken to the neighbours house to use the "clean washroom" which turned out to be a really disgusting pit latrine and then trying to decide if being hydrated was necessary for the rest of the two days.
Some lowlights:
The teacher at the unnamed sector who showed up for roll call, left, showed up for lunch, left and showed up at the end of the day to collect the transport fee without participating at all!
The headteacher who wouldn't come into the classroom to see what we were doing despite several requests and the sector head who was insisting on "compensating" the teachers for having to come in on their holiday after they'd already had transport money, a free meal, a resource package and 3 rice sacks and two free days of training. I refused to let him give them any more money. After all, it was my training and the reward is the LEARNING! This training group even made me pay for the envelope used to put the attendance sheet in at the end of the day?! Thankfully the other two sectors were opposites, coming up with transport and food themselves, somewhat.
Touching moments:
Olivier, the boy whose house I used during the trainings was delighted by my presence. On break we played catch with the orange plastic ball and he hung out just outside the window, watching everything we were doing. Olivier is 7 years old and cuter than most- I'll try and find his picture and post it.
At the third training, two teachers brought their babies on their backs. The first was very quiet and other than the several breastfeeding breaks during my math lessons, not a disruption. The other was also very quiet and at the end of the day I went to speak to the mother and asked "What did he learn today?" She very timidly showed me that "He is handicapped." I then proceeded to have a lovely conversation about my brother Mike and was quite moved when the mother asked me point blank "My boy, he is 16 months old and he doesn't speak and doesn't walk. WILL HE EVER DO THESE THINGS?" It was alarming at first that because there is next to no education about handicaps, this mother doesn't understand the developmental delays of her own child. Most similar cases hide their children at home. This young mother was brave enough to bring him out and clearly loved him dearly. I said quite calmly and matter-of-factly to her that "Il prend son temps." (He is taking his time). And we discussed the need for lots of stimulation- physical, verbal and the belief that he can or will be able to do most things. There is a fine line between trying to instill some hope and creating a false promise however it is my, and my own mother's philosophy, that our potential is limitless. During our chat, the boy (who is still carried on the back like an infant) was playing with one of the squishy balls. At the end of day two I had every intention of giving it to him but the mother left before I noticed she had gone. I ran out of the classroom and on the street were 30 or 40 people. I couldn't find her. Down the lane, I spotted the mother's patterned African outfit and took off running. I caused a small scene as I chased her down, said "Ndashaka guha ballon na imana ibahe umugisha" in my crooked kinyarwanda and gave that boy the ball. It was one of the more touching moments of November.
Well, I have since seen several of the teachers that I trained during those two weeks in town or on the bus and I enjoy our interaction. I can't wait to run more workshops although since the start of school has been nationally delayed until Febraury 2nd, this might be tricky to accomplish. I think there will be some Methodology Training in my future career, it is simply the best combination of challenge and person-to-person impact and idea-swapping and I really love it.
Ciao for now!
PS Gorilla post is next, I promise.
For an introductory activity, the entire group of 40 teachers joined a circle. I had a ball of yarn in my hand. I introduced myself and then, while holding a piece, threw the yarn to the teacher opposite me, he did the same and so forth until we had made a giant web. I explained that "this learning web we had created demonstrated that what I know, I will share with him (pointing to the teacher across from me) and what he knows he will share with her (pointing to the next person attached to the yarn-web) and so forth. We were going to spend the next two days COLLABORATING". And that is exactly what we did. To follow up at the end of Day One, I threw the ball around the circle asking for input on what activities the teachers wanted to see included in Day Two and at the end of Day Two we revisited the circle once more to feedback on the sustainability of the activities learnt.
Daniel, the teacher from EP-Rubona had asked to co-facilitate with me and since I had determined that I didn't wish to engage another VSO methodologist to help me with the two weeks of training, it was a perfect fit that Daniel would fill this role. He was instrumental in keeping the pace, encouraging different techniques to assist with the language barrier (I so often fell back on my French and he encouraged me to just try again with simpler, slower English vocabulary instead) and his presentation about starting an English Club was moving.
Daniel spoke to his peers about the fact that you can start an English club, as he has done at his school, no matter how small at first. He used a metaphor to perfection. "Still just one match can burn down a forest. Start a club now, with only a few and watch it grow. Everyone can do this. Why not you in your school?" I was amazed and still continue to be impressed by his enthusiasm for education. Rwanda needs more passionate teachers like Daniel.
There were so many highlights to the exhaustive two weeks that I'll short-list a few.
Agnes a 66 year old widow on her hands and knees tracing a poster for her classroom.
Deciding last minute to add music to the schedule and watching the teachers come alive as they sang/performed/made instruments out of seemingly nothing and impressed the socks off of me!!
Seeing teachers on break with the Tongue Twisters jar, going through them one by one to practice their English Vocabulary
Deciding that the solution to the chatty/energetic/less than perfectly co-operative group during the second training was to do a tower building challenge with 30 waterbottles each and then watching as EVERY SINGLE TEACHER in the room became actively engaged in the efforts to build the tallest tower. These thirty minutes of problem-solving, co-operative teamwork and enthusiasm made up for the late arrival, inattentive, apathetic bunch I started out with in the morning. (Sector will remain anonymous)
Being taken to the neighbours house to use the "clean washroom" which turned out to be a really disgusting pit latrine and then trying to decide if being hydrated was necessary for the rest of the two days.
Some lowlights:
The teacher at the unnamed sector who showed up for roll call, left, showed up for lunch, left and showed up at the end of the day to collect the transport fee without participating at all!
The headteacher who wouldn't come into the classroom to see what we were doing despite several requests and the sector head who was insisting on "compensating" the teachers for having to come in on their holiday after they'd already had transport money, a free meal, a resource package and 3 rice sacks and two free days of training. I refused to let him give them any more money. After all, it was my training and the reward is the LEARNING! This training group even made me pay for the envelope used to put the attendance sheet in at the end of the day?! Thankfully the other two sectors were opposites, coming up with transport and food themselves, somewhat.
Touching moments:
Olivier, the boy whose house I used during the trainings was delighted by my presence. On break we played catch with the orange plastic ball and he hung out just outside the window, watching everything we were doing. Olivier is 7 years old and cuter than most- I'll try and find his picture and post it.
At the third training, two teachers brought their babies on their backs. The first was very quiet and other than the several breastfeeding breaks during my math lessons, not a disruption. The other was also very quiet and at the end of the day I went to speak to the mother and asked "What did he learn today?" She very timidly showed me that "He is handicapped." I then proceeded to have a lovely conversation about my brother Mike and was quite moved when the mother asked me point blank "My boy, he is 16 months old and he doesn't speak and doesn't walk. WILL HE EVER DO THESE THINGS?" It was alarming at first that because there is next to no education about handicaps, this mother doesn't understand the developmental delays of her own child. Most similar cases hide their children at home. This young mother was brave enough to bring him out and clearly loved him dearly. I said quite calmly and matter-of-factly to her that "Il prend son temps." (He is taking his time). And we discussed the need for lots of stimulation- physical, verbal and the belief that he can or will be able to do most things. There is a fine line between trying to instill some hope and creating a false promise however it is my, and my own mother's philosophy, that our potential is limitless. During our chat, the boy (who is still carried on the back like an infant) was playing with one of the squishy balls. At the end of day two I had every intention of giving it to him but the mother left before I noticed she had gone. I ran out of the classroom and on the street were 30 or 40 people. I couldn't find her. Down the lane, I spotted the mother's patterned African outfit and took off running. I caused a small scene as I chased her down, said "Ndashaka guha ballon na imana ibahe umugisha" in my crooked kinyarwanda and gave that boy the ball. It was one of the more touching moments of November.
Well, I have since seen several of the teachers that I trained during those two weeks in town or on the bus and I enjoy our interaction. I can't wait to run more workshops although since the start of school has been nationally delayed until Febraury 2nd, this might be tricky to accomplish. I think there will be some Methodology Training in my future career, it is simply the best combination of challenge and person-to-person impact and idea-swapping and I really love it.
Ciao for now!
PS Gorilla post is next, I promise.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Mid-December Post
“It is possible to be standing on one side of a door and perceive the world as a dark and lonely place, while on the other side of that very same door are countless people just waiting to lend support and cheer you on. All that is required is that you turn the knob.” Author Unknown
Challenging. That is the one word that sums up this experience and it can either imply a good thing or a not so good thing. I am determined to see this placement through no matter what! I have spent the past couple of days doing damage control but it is definitely paying off. There is a fantastic new Director of Education in Kamonyi District and the ideas proposed for January have me excited again about being here. Our housing issue is FINALLY getting some attention and we will be in a new house as soon as I, the ever-resourceful volunteer, find myself one?! Christmas holidays, right? The atmosphere in Gitarama is also improving, it was very different without Christi, Nathan, Moira and Michael but they are all returning in January, thank goodness.
My Kamonyi colleague Ernest, the one who has been there since the beginning and was the former charge of education, has a new role as sector head. I had a lovely conversation with him today and he was wearing the Che Guevara T-shirt I gave him when I thought he was leaving for good. I really hope to work with him again in January. It seemed for awhile that all the capacity building I had done evaporated with the removal of the Mayor, the Charge and the Director of Education but hope springs anew. Plans are in place for January and I’m definitely up for giving it all another go. I have never had an experience quite like this one as the circumstances make you feel like packing it in.. REGULARLY. But I am a persistent, some might say stubborn, goal-oriented redhead and I am going to make this work no matter what !! I have a vision of the end of my placement where I am doing a handover to the incoming methodologist and Kamonyi District, with all of its enthusiastic and in-need teachers will work with VSO for many years to come. What is that Adidas slogan? Impossible is nothing.
Have to rush home now as Art Club is this afternoon and I think we are making finger puppets. Karen and I are almost ready for Christmas, we have bought gifts for all of our art club participants, a few select neighbours and colleagues and are excited to be hosting a Holiday Party next week. Unfortunately, we both went to the doctor yesterday and are also playing host collectively to parasites, amoebas and giardia. Love you Rwanda, but wish you could provide us with a bit healthier of an environment L.
Gorillaz, Zanzibar and a detailed account of the charming 7 year old who spent 2 days watching one of my workshops from the window of the classroom are all forthcoming once I’m done at work- work which might finally, and hopefully, be organized enough to start experiencing a level of success in the placement. It will be a joyful season yet!
Challenging. That is the one word that sums up this experience and it can either imply a good thing or a not so good thing. I am determined to see this placement through no matter what! I have spent the past couple of days doing damage control but it is definitely paying off. There is a fantastic new Director of Education in Kamonyi District and the ideas proposed for January have me excited again about being here. Our housing issue is FINALLY getting some attention and we will be in a new house as soon as I, the ever-resourceful volunteer, find myself one?! Christmas holidays, right? The atmosphere in Gitarama is also improving, it was very different without Christi, Nathan, Moira and Michael but they are all returning in January, thank goodness.
My Kamonyi colleague Ernest, the one who has been there since the beginning and was the former charge of education, has a new role as sector head. I had a lovely conversation with him today and he was wearing the Che Guevara T-shirt I gave him when I thought he was leaving for good. I really hope to work with him again in January. It seemed for awhile that all the capacity building I had done evaporated with the removal of the Mayor, the Charge and the Director of Education but hope springs anew. Plans are in place for January and I’m definitely up for giving it all another go. I have never had an experience quite like this one as the circumstances make you feel like packing it in.. REGULARLY. But I am a persistent, some might say stubborn, goal-oriented redhead and I am going to make this work no matter what !! I have a vision of the end of my placement where I am doing a handover to the incoming methodologist and Kamonyi District, with all of its enthusiastic and in-need teachers will work with VSO for many years to come. What is that Adidas slogan? Impossible is nothing.
Have to rush home now as Art Club is this afternoon and I think we are making finger puppets. Karen and I are almost ready for Christmas, we have bought gifts for all of our art club participants, a few select neighbours and colleagues and are excited to be hosting a Holiday Party next week. Unfortunately, we both went to the doctor yesterday and are also playing host collectively to parasites, amoebas and giardia. Love you Rwanda, but wish you could provide us with a bit healthier of an environment L.
Gorillaz, Zanzibar and a detailed account of the charming 7 year old who spent 2 days watching one of my workshops from the window of the classroom are all forthcoming once I’m done at work- work which might finally, and hopefully, be organized enough to start experiencing a level of success in the placement. It will be a joyful season yet!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Word Searching
Hi Friends!!
I am writing to promise you some fascinating upcoming posts about Teacher Trainings, Gorillas Mating (I mean Trekking), my Zanzibar adventures and many more stories. It is now school break and the past month or so has not been without drama. I wouldn't expect anything less from my Rwandan experience! I am thinking of home a fair bit but today I skyped for over 3 hours and feel so comforted by the support of my family and friends. I am hoping that everyone is well and is able to prepare for and enjoy the holiday season. I will do the same here in Gitarama with my neighbours, roommate and the amazing children in my life, who never tire of showing me love.
New posts will be forthcoming to explain in detail the new pictures I've just added, your patience will pay off tenfold.
Be well, talk soon!
Becky
I am writing to promise you some fascinating upcoming posts about Teacher Trainings, Gorillas Mating (I mean Trekking), my Zanzibar adventures and many more stories. It is now school break and the past month or so has not been without drama. I wouldn't expect anything less from my Rwandan experience! I am thinking of home a fair bit but today I skyped for over 3 hours and feel so comforted by the support of my family and friends. I am hoping that everyone is well and is able to prepare for and enjoy the holiday season. I will do the same here in Gitarama with my neighbours, roommate and the amazing children in my life, who never tire of showing me love.
New posts will be forthcoming to explain in detail the new pictures I've just added, your patience will pay off tenfold.
Be well, talk soon!
Becky
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Hokey Pokey was right!
That's what it's all about. So says the "Hokey Pokey", which for the record is a big hit with Rwandan teachers and also a good motto for life. Put your hand in the ring.. I've done so by finally planning, organizing and facilitating three amazing workshops for my three sectors in Kamonyi District. It only took six months to pull it all together. The best part is, the trainings went incredibly well and those 100 teachers will become my best means of advertisement within the District and at the Education Office. I am certain they are going to return to their schools and share the new methodologies they've acquired and then be asking: "When's Rebecca's next training?" I have so much more to tell you about the workshops and which activities worked and which flopped and about all that I've seen in the last few weeks- including MOUNTAIN GORILLAS in Virunga National Park and Stone Town in Zanzibar!! but I am running out of time at this Internet Cafe and life is beckoning me outside. The rain is letting up, there are the idyllic sidestreets with quaint shops, the open market on the beach, the marvellously wood-carved doors and portugese influenced architecture, the warm, embracing island air, the tortoises on that island over there waiting to see me tomorrow, the sunset I'll watch tonight- yes, I'm in Zanzibar right now! I can safely say that after several challenging months in a country not easy to live in (Rwanda) and my recent FOURTH bout of malaria this past weekend, I am going to indulge this week in doing next to nothing on my little holiday. Tomorrow I am turning 33 years old. I'm feeling contemplative but happy, eager but not anxious, loved and safe. I sometimes think about the future goals and yet to be experiences and wonder where I'll be a year from now but I think it will all work out in the end. Haha, I actually heard a salesguy today say "Hakuna Matata", yup "no problem". I hope everyone is well at home. Talk soon, Becky. Now... I've got to get my "shop on"..hee hee.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The 5th of November
I'm going to write about my day, just today Thursday, November 5th so you can share my experiences. I woke up before 6 to the sound of the call to prayer at our neighbouring mosque. Sometimes I sleep through it, but most often I wake up around 6. It's a routine I can't shake even on weekends. I was in a rush because before I catch the 8am bus I must drop off an envelope to the YWCA for Charlotte as she is picking us up a modem in Kigali. I am carrying a big, heavy bag of resources for my workshops. I have slowly but surely been bringing didactic materials to the school hosting my first workshop. I will run the first workshop and then pack everything up to take it to the next location and then pack it up again for the third sector. Each sector gets a 2 day training. I drop off the envelope of money and catch the bus. Several of the usual beggars approach the window along with vendors. I pop my iPOD into my ears and face forward. I delete some numbers on my phone of people who have now left or returned home while I wait for the bus to pull out. The man beside me clearly wants to start a conversation but I don't as this usually ends in asking for my phone number so he can beep me or request something of me later on down the line. Since I ride the bus everyday, I have to manage who I chat with and who I don't. The bus leaves weaving up and down round each curve on the scenic road to Kigali.
I knock on the window at Kamonyi and hop off but for some reason today there are no motos in Kamonyi. I wait a bit and text Emile, the regular guy and soon enough he's there. The path we take off the main road to get to EP-Rubona is very bumpy and when we first dip off the main road it feels like I'm on a rollercoaster as it's almost straight down. I usually close my eyes a bit. We weave our way to the school, it's empty, I call the Headteacher and he sounds like he's in Kigali but says he's on his way. I sit outside the teachers' room and wait. Eventually I decide to stroll the grounds, say hi to the cow, admire the view, acknowledge the bathrooms are locked, etc. A young boy from Primary 4 shows up, he's the shepherd and has come to let the cow out for a stroll. The cow comes charging out of the stall and circles around until he is standing a few feet from me. Now, the VSO Handbook definitely doesn't say anything about what to do when a giant cow charges you. I kind of shuffle my feet and she startles away, does a lap in the yard and comes charging forward again, stopping about 2 feet from me. The shepherd boy is still running over to catch up to her, yelling something in kinyarwanda. Honestly, she was a bull minus the horns, I was a little intimidated. I kinda yelled something, the boy caught up and wrestled her rope to the flagpole. Crisis averted.
The Headteacher eventually shows up, we sit down to discuss who will cover what costs and the organisation process of the upcoming workshop. I am quite disappointed as the discussion veers towards "we have no money for transport, can't provide tea at break, cut the training time down or else the teachers will complain there isn't a per diem, what motivation is there for the teachers if you are only offering a small meal, it's the school holidays and you're making them come in.." I am infinitely frustrated because I am about to provide a free training and give each teacher many didactic materials along with model lesson plans, rice sacks to make posters, teacher resource handbooks and my time. I know why the teachers are frustrated, they don't get paid well and are often not paid on time and all the usual bull about how hard life is here. I get it. I am sympathetic. But why am I having to ask "Please will you come to this free workshop I am going to give you that will help you become a more effective english teacher and please come so I can give you many ideas for making resources out of found materials." When the Headteacher asked who else was running the workshop I answered "just me". He was surprised that I had made all 20 posters (with Emmanuel's help) and the dozen or so math manipulatives and prepared teacher handbooks for 100 and was preparing to run a workshop for two days, alone. I am struggling with the whole learned helplessness that exists here. Help me do it, fine. Do it for me, not okay. I want the teachers and Headteachers to participate in the process and I feel like sometimes they just expect NGOs to sweep in and do it. Working in particular with a low-budget NGO which seeks to empower people to do it for themselves, it is so hard to manage the disappointment associated with "I don't have resources for you. The resources I'm providing you are ideas."
I am the first volunteer to work in Kamonyi in this capacity so I have to make allowances for the fact that they don't completely understand how VSO works. Still, when I did school visits everyone was so keen. Yes!! Come and help us with our teaching, show us some ideas, we want to work with you. And now that the workshop is here, oh it's the holidays, oh we have to provide food during the training, oh it's not enough budget for transportation. The kicker today was on the walk back from the rural school to the main road. A very friendly lady came up and gave me a hug, a greeting and handed me her baby. I could tell, even in kinyarwanda, what she was asking of me. I gave a blessing and handed the baby back and as I walked away I clarified with the Headteacher what she was asking of me. Yes, she had no milk and was asking me to feed her baby.
We walk 45 minutes uphill back to the main road, I was very hot and very thirsty having not consumed anything since 6:30 in part because the bathrooms were locked at the school. I caught a stopper bus back to Gitarama, it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 90 so I call Christi to say I might be late for lunch. At one of the many stops, a man approaches me with the usual box of candies, cookies and Kleenex. I buy two lollipops and give them to the two little girls who have been sneaking glances at me since I boarded the bus. They are very polite, smiling and saying "Merci." I meet Christi in Gitarama and we have a great chat as I pour out some of my thoughts on what comes next after my VSO contract is up in March. I am full of ideas! Any thoughts of coming home fill me with guilt as there are many more long-term humanitarians here, albeit working with significantly bigger budgets and very high-functioning NGOs. Thoughts of extending my contract however, when the day to day frustrations feel insurmountable, at the moment doesn't feel right. I look at the workshops I did with Unicef several months ago and wish I could do that everyday, 5 days a week. I feel like I am only using 10 percent of my abilities and the rest of the time I am problem solving how to just manage/cope/exist here. The living conditions are okay but I still miss normal food, having electricity all the time, hot water, carpet, shoes without holes, heat when it's cold, transportation that doesn't involve sitting in a squished bus in 30 degree heat, drinking something other than Coke or water, having clean toenails, feeling RESTED and seeing my friends!! Okay, I've poured it all out. I'm just really tired. Unfortunately, even in the capital of Kigali there are many things you just can't get here. Compared to other African countries that welcome tourists on a regular basis, Rwanda just doesn't have a lot of western style things. The treat of the week is a tin of Pringles. I can heat a bucket of water for a hot shower. I never considered myself a high-maintenance person but perhaps I need a little more than what's offered here. We just say that certain things are "forbidden" in conversation. That's how we rationalize the fact that we can't buy clothes here that aren't second hand donations from the West or since the rains have come we have to contend with a zillion flies inside and outside of the house. Rice, pasta and vegetables that you buy at the open-air market. The kids, love them like crazy, are sooooo filthy. Guaranteed that I got my amoebas, typhoid and half my colds from hugging, hand-shaking and high-fiving with them. Not that I'm going to STOP doing any of that :)
Okay, I digressed a little there and started outright complaining. I guess I needed that. After lunch with Christi I came home and was followed by three little boys. Asante, Mohammed and a third. I brought them inside the gate and Emmanuel and I played soccer against the three under 8s in the front yard. A head popped over the wall, it was a lady with a headdress asking if she could come visit. I said yes and she brought two friends over. As is the custom, I made tea and offered biscuits and Karen joined us for the kinyarwanda translation and to be neighbourly with me. After a fun game of soccer with the kids, I went to send them on their way but at the gate were 10 or so more. I tried to say no but saw JeanPierre looking very forlorn as he gets from time to time. It's as if he's had a very sad day, not sure what exactly that means but you can just see from the look on his face, something terrible is going on. I sent the three on their way but invited JeanPierre and his buddy Francois to come and challenge Emmanuel with their soccer skills. In a few minutes they were all giggles and smiles. The three ladies had been on their way to fill jerrycans so we suggested the boys just fill them from our sink. Eventually all five visitors leave and Karen and I are due at our neighbour Fils' house. We go there for a visit, mostly out of curiosity to see who is looking after this orphan. Apparently he lives with his two aunts, his mother's sisters who both study during the year in towns well outside of Gitarama; Nyagatare and Nyanza. Does this mean other than school break, he lives alone? Possibly. We leave Fils and get stuck playing Hokey Pokey, Ring around the Rosie and "Juck, Juck, Juice" (the way the kids pronounce "Duck, Duck, Goose") with the 20 kids and one or two adults who have joined in.
I am home a few minutes then head off to Tom's because I need to borrow some dice for a math game. There is a letter from Emmanuel, our guard. Now, if I haven't said so already, I am very fond of Emmanuel. He is 22, lost both parents in '94 and we have kind of taken him under our wings. We feed him, give him drawing materials, invite him inside as often as possible, have bought some Arsenal paraphernalia for him and he feels like a part of our home. He gets paid a teachers' salary which is double what VSO has given me to pay him monthly. I just thought if I could give one person some help, it should be him. The letter says in a very kind way about his family's history, being an orphan, having finished senior secondary school and his struggles as a young man... can we help him to build himself a house? I don't feel badly that he is asking, I would do almost anything for Emmanuel. On my walk to Tom's I meet Kate who would like me to come on Saturday morning to take pictures of her sister Bridgette for the memoir we have written together. We will take photos and I will get the story bound in Kigali. She will then send it off to her American friend and see what becomes of it.
The power goes out around 6pm. I am just very tired. I know there are moments today that I have enjoyed very much, like when Fils sang us a song during his visit. This parentless child has a beautiful voice and sang to us about Jesus providing for him. Watching Arianna, who is 4, do the Hokey Pokey or little Mohammed giggle as I grab his shirt, preventing him from scoring another goal in my front yard. I just get stalled when I think of what impact I'm having. Did I come here to play with the kids? I thought I came here to train teachers?
Allright, it's almost 8pm. I'm still in town at the Internet cafe- not for long as we get a modem on Sunday and I can start emailing/Skyping more.
What lesson can I glean from today? It's not about me, but sometimes it is. A friend told me enjoyment is a feeling. Can I not manage the extraordinary circumstances here so that I can feel good more often?
That's a little glimpse into my mind this day, the 5th of November. Thanks for listening.
I knock on the window at Kamonyi and hop off but for some reason today there are no motos in Kamonyi. I wait a bit and text Emile, the regular guy and soon enough he's there. The path we take off the main road to get to EP-Rubona is very bumpy and when we first dip off the main road it feels like I'm on a rollercoaster as it's almost straight down. I usually close my eyes a bit. We weave our way to the school, it's empty, I call the Headteacher and he sounds like he's in Kigali but says he's on his way. I sit outside the teachers' room and wait. Eventually I decide to stroll the grounds, say hi to the cow, admire the view, acknowledge the bathrooms are locked, etc. A young boy from Primary 4 shows up, he's the shepherd and has come to let the cow out for a stroll. The cow comes charging out of the stall and circles around until he is standing a few feet from me. Now, the VSO Handbook definitely doesn't say anything about what to do when a giant cow charges you. I kind of shuffle my feet and she startles away, does a lap in the yard and comes charging forward again, stopping about 2 feet from me. The shepherd boy is still running over to catch up to her, yelling something in kinyarwanda. Honestly, she was a bull minus the horns, I was a little intimidated. I kinda yelled something, the boy caught up and wrestled her rope to the flagpole. Crisis averted.
The Headteacher eventually shows up, we sit down to discuss who will cover what costs and the organisation process of the upcoming workshop. I am quite disappointed as the discussion veers towards "we have no money for transport, can't provide tea at break, cut the training time down or else the teachers will complain there isn't a per diem, what motivation is there for the teachers if you are only offering a small meal, it's the school holidays and you're making them come in.." I am infinitely frustrated because I am about to provide a free training and give each teacher many didactic materials along with model lesson plans, rice sacks to make posters, teacher resource handbooks and my time. I know why the teachers are frustrated, they don't get paid well and are often not paid on time and all the usual bull about how hard life is here. I get it. I am sympathetic. But why am I having to ask "Please will you come to this free workshop I am going to give you that will help you become a more effective english teacher and please come so I can give you many ideas for making resources out of found materials." When the Headteacher asked who else was running the workshop I answered "just me". He was surprised that I had made all 20 posters (with Emmanuel's help) and the dozen or so math manipulatives and prepared teacher handbooks for 100 and was preparing to run a workshop for two days, alone. I am struggling with the whole learned helplessness that exists here. Help me do it, fine. Do it for me, not okay. I want the teachers and Headteachers to participate in the process and I feel like sometimes they just expect NGOs to sweep in and do it. Working in particular with a low-budget NGO which seeks to empower people to do it for themselves, it is so hard to manage the disappointment associated with "I don't have resources for you. The resources I'm providing you are ideas."
I am the first volunteer to work in Kamonyi in this capacity so I have to make allowances for the fact that they don't completely understand how VSO works. Still, when I did school visits everyone was so keen. Yes!! Come and help us with our teaching, show us some ideas, we want to work with you. And now that the workshop is here, oh it's the holidays, oh we have to provide food during the training, oh it's not enough budget for transportation. The kicker today was on the walk back from the rural school to the main road. A very friendly lady came up and gave me a hug, a greeting and handed me her baby. I could tell, even in kinyarwanda, what she was asking of me. I gave a blessing and handed the baby back and as I walked away I clarified with the Headteacher what she was asking of me. Yes, she had no milk and was asking me to feed her baby.
We walk 45 minutes uphill back to the main road, I was very hot and very thirsty having not consumed anything since 6:30 in part because the bathrooms were locked at the school. I caught a stopper bus back to Gitarama, it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 90 so I call Christi to say I might be late for lunch. At one of the many stops, a man approaches me with the usual box of candies, cookies and Kleenex. I buy two lollipops and give them to the two little girls who have been sneaking glances at me since I boarded the bus. They are very polite, smiling and saying "Merci." I meet Christi in Gitarama and we have a great chat as I pour out some of my thoughts on what comes next after my VSO contract is up in March. I am full of ideas! Any thoughts of coming home fill me with guilt as there are many more long-term humanitarians here, albeit working with significantly bigger budgets and very high-functioning NGOs. Thoughts of extending my contract however, when the day to day frustrations feel insurmountable, at the moment doesn't feel right. I look at the workshops I did with Unicef several months ago and wish I could do that everyday, 5 days a week. I feel like I am only using 10 percent of my abilities and the rest of the time I am problem solving how to just manage/cope/exist here. The living conditions are okay but I still miss normal food, having electricity all the time, hot water, carpet, shoes without holes, heat when it's cold, transportation that doesn't involve sitting in a squished bus in 30 degree heat, drinking something other than Coke or water, having clean toenails, feeling RESTED and seeing my friends!! Okay, I've poured it all out. I'm just really tired. Unfortunately, even in the capital of Kigali there are many things you just can't get here. Compared to other African countries that welcome tourists on a regular basis, Rwanda just doesn't have a lot of western style things. The treat of the week is a tin of Pringles. I can heat a bucket of water for a hot shower. I never considered myself a high-maintenance person but perhaps I need a little more than what's offered here. We just say that certain things are "forbidden" in conversation. That's how we rationalize the fact that we can't buy clothes here that aren't second hand donations from the West or since the rains have come we have to contend with a zillion flies inside and outside of the house. Rice, pasta and vegetables that you buy at the open-air market. The kids, love them like crazy, are sooooo filthy. Guaranteed that I got my amoebas, typhoid and half my colds from hugging, hand-shaking and high-fiving with them. Not that I'm going to STOP doing any of that :)
Okay, I digressed a little there and started outright complaining. I guess I needed that. After lunch with Christi I came home and was followed by three little boys. Asante, Mohammed and a third. I brought them inside the gate and Emmanuel and I played soccer against the three under 8s in the front yard. A head popped over the wall, it was a lady with a headdress asking if she could come visit. I said yes and she brought two friends over. As is the custom, I made tea and offered biscuits and Karen joined us for the kinyarwanda translation and to be neighbourly with me. After a fun game of soccer with the kids, I went to send them on their way but at the gate were 10 or so more. I tried to say no but saw JeanPierre looking very forlorn as he gets from time to time. It's as if he's had a very sad day, not sure what exactly that means but you can just see from the look on his face, something terrible is going on. I sent the three on their way but invited JeanPierre and his buddy Francois to come and challenge Emmanuel with their soccer skills. In a few minutes they were all giggles and smiles. The three ladies had been on their way to fill jerrycans so we suggested the boys just fill them from our sink. Eventually all five visitors leave and Karen and I are due at our neighbour Fils' house. We go there for a visit, mostly out of curiosity to see who is looking after this orphan. Apparently he lives with his two aunts, his mother's sisters who both study during the year in towns well outside of Gitarama; Nyagatare and Nyanza. Does this mean other than school break, he lives alone? Possibly. We leave Fils and get stuck playing Hokey Pokey, Ring around the Rosie and "Juck, Juck, Juice" (the way the kids pronounce "Duck, Duck, Goose") with the 20 kids and one or two adults who have joined in.
I am home a few minutes then head off to Tom's because I need to borrow some dice for a math game. There is a letter from Emmanuel, our guard. Now, if I haven't said so already, I am very fond of Emmanuel. He is 22, lost both parents in '94 and we have kind of taken him under our wings. We feed him, give him drawing materials, invite him inside as often as possible, have bought some Arsenal paraphernalia for him and he feels like a part of our home. He gets paid a teachers' salary which is double what VSO has given me to pay him monthly. I just thought if I could give one person some help, it should be him. The letter says in a very kind way about his family's history, being an orphan, having finished senior secondary school and his struggles as a young man... can we help him to build himself a house? I don't feel badly that he is asking, I would do almost anything for Emmanuel. On my walk to Tom's I meet Kate who would like me to come on Saturday morning to take pictures of her sister Bridgette for the memoir we have written together. We will take photos and I will get the story bound in Kigali. She will then send it off to her American friend and see what becomes of it.
The power goes out around 6pm. I am just very tired. I know there are moments today that I have enjoyed very much, like when Fils sang us a song during his visit. This parentless child has a beautiful voice and sang to us about Jesus providing for him. Watching Arianna, who is 4, do the Hokey Pokey or little Mohammed giggle as I grab his shirt, preventing him from scoring another goal in my front yard. I just get stalled when I think of what impact I'm having. Did I come here to play with the kids? I thought I came here to train teachers?
Allright, it's almost 8pm. I'm still in town at the Internet cafe- not for long as we get a modem on Sunday and I can start emailing/Skyping more.
What lesson can I glean from today? It's not about me, but sometimes it is. A friend told me enjoyment is a feeling. Can I not manage the extraordinary circumstances here so that I can feel good more often?
That's a little glimpse into my mind this day, the 5th of November. Thanks for listening.
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